"If you decide to buy this CD, wait patiently by the mail box till it arrives.
How do you pick just one? Is it "Ninja Rap," a song whose "go ninja, go ninja, go!" chorus evokes kick ass visions of actual ninjas doing the running man, until you realize it's a song from the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles II soundtrack? How about "I Love You," a tender hip hop ballad that shamelessly apes LL Cool J's "I Need Love" but does it in such a pussified way it manages to make "I Need Love" sound like "Fuck Da Police" in comparison? Perhaps "Satisfaction" would be more to your liking, a tune in which our hero samples The Rolling Stones greatest riff ever, almost certainly without their permission, and proceeds to take a four minute long hip hop shit on it.
This album could be called The Very Best of That Fucking Ice Ice Baby Dick That Suge Knight Should Have Dropped To His Death and nobody would bat an eyelash. Chew on that for a second, the fact that Vanilla Ice was almost murdered by Suge Knight is thought to be hilarious by millions of people. An incident in which he was supposedly dangled from the ankles off a balcony from the top floor of a hotel and forced to sign over the publishing rights to his biggest hit ever is still used as comedy fodder to this day, most recently on a 2006 episode of Entourage. It was a good run.īut as adored as he may have been for 52 weeks in 1990-1991, he was absolutely fucking hated a million times more for about ten years after.
Granted, during those twelve months, the man put together a dazzling string of accomplishments: the first rap song to reach #1 on the Billboard pop charts, one of the best selling rap albums of all time, several Grammy and American Music Award nominations, sex with a still hot at the time Madonna. The window of time in which the world actually gave a shit about Vanilla Ice was quite slim, maybe a year, max.
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